Karkat Vantas is Gonna Be Famous
by ShadyNinjaProductions
Summary: Humanstuck AU in which Karkat uses the college fund his parents saved up for him to pay for a camera crew to follow him around everywhere. Reason being: He thinks he's going to become famous. More information inside.


******Karkat Vantas ********Is Gonna Be******** Famous**

******Rated ********T.**

* * *

******Author's Notes**:

Humanstuck AU in which Karkat uses the college fund his parents saved up for him to pay for a camera crew to follow him around everywhere.

Shenanigans occur.

In this fanfiction, I made Nepeta and Meulin the step sisters of Karkat and Kankri since I wanted to keep The Signless/Sufferer and Disciple together.

Rated T for language.

Based on Zach Stone Is Gonna Be Famous

Sorry if the characters seem OOC.

* * *

"OKAY. OKAY, I'VE GOT THIS. YOU GUYS GOT MY BACK, RIGHT?"

Karkat stood in front of his house, fanning himself anxiously. This definitely wasn't the best idea he'd had- Oh who was he kidding? This idea was fucking glorious. The problem was, his parents would probably fail to agree. Breaking the news to them wasn't going to be easy, so he figured he'd need some emotional support from his friends.

"OF COURSE WE DO KARKLES! IF BAD TURNS TO WORSE, THEN WE'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM AND RUN."

"TEREZI, I'M NOT ASKING YOU TO FUCKING KILL MY PARENTS! I'M JUST SAYING BACK ME UP! AND STOP CALLING ME KARKLES!"

"WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU MEAN BY BACK YOU UP?!"

"JUST ARGUE WITH THEM AND TELL THEM WHY IT'S A GOOD IDEA."

"Um..but Karkat...uh, it actually isn't. A good idea, I mean."

"NOBODY ASKED YOU TAVROS."

"Oh my goth Karkat, why even bother going inthide to tell them? You're yelling tho loud they can probably hear thith whole converthation."

"NOBODY TOLD YOU THAT YOU HAD TO BE HERE SOLLUX."

"You blew up my phone with textth begging me to come, athhole!"

"Hahahahahahahaha wow Karkat, you're so stupid!"

"ALRIGHT, WHO INVITED VRISKA?"

"You did, genius."

Now that he thought about it, maybe they weren't the best people to call on for help.

"YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK IT. THEY'LL FIGURE IT OUT."

"Figure what out?"

Everyone went silent, turning slowly to face Karkat's father and stepmother who were standing on the front porch.

"Is everything alright?" Disciple asked.

"YEAH, EVERYTHING'S FAN FUCKING TASTIC."

"Are you sure?" Signless said, quirking an eyebrow curiously, "It doesn't seem like it from all the yelling."

Karkat cleared his throat. It was now or never. Okay, maybe not, he could always get them in a good mood first later and-

"Karkat spent his college fund on a camera crew because he's delusional and thinks he's going to be famous," Vriska blurted, giving Karkat a smug grin.

"HE WHAT!?"

Uh oh. At least it was over with and Karkat was technically an adult now so he would be very mature about-

And he absconded.

"KARKLES!"

"I knew thith would happen."

"Oh suuuuuuuure you did, Sollux. Why don't you go make out with your gloomy girlfriend?"

"Aradia ith not my girlfriend...yet."

"You, uh, like Aradia?"

Before Sollux could respond to Tavros, they were interrupted by the sound of Signless clearing his throat. "What exactly does he want to be famous for, anyway?"

The four kids exchanged a glance.

"Everything."

"So where should we start motherfucker?"

Karkat was sitting in Gamzee's room and had been for the past three hours. He wasn't in any hurry to face the wrath of his parents. That and he was actually starting to feel a little guilty about spending their hard earned money on a camera crew. Even though he was going to pay them back after he got famous, he still felt really bad about it.

"I don't know," he admitted, speaking in a low voice for a change. "I always figured it would just come to me, you know? I don't know, what do you think I could be famous for?"

Of course, seeing as Gamzee was high, Karkat didn't really expect a serious answer. The problem was, Karkat was a bit desperate. In his head, he thought, if he could get some good footage of him doing something that could make him famous, he could show it to his parents and they'd see he was doing a good thing. So yes. He was desperate. And desperate people usually take everything seriously. So when Gamzee said,

"I could see your ass being on Jackass,"

Karkat was pretty excited.

"YES!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air excitedly, going back to his normal tone, "THAT'S IT. WE CAN DO STUPID SHIT LIKE THEY DO, IT CAN'T BE THAT HARD! NOW ALL WE NEED IS A CREW!"

Letting his arms fall to his sides, he grinned at his stoned friend. "Gamzee. Do you want to be a jackass?"

"ALRIGHT GUYS, THANK YOU FOR ASSISTING ME IN MY AMAZING QUEST TO BE FAMOUS-"

"Well, I figured I'd be famous toooooooo so-"

"VRISKA, SHUT THE FUCK UP. ANYWAY, FIRST THINGS FIRST. WHAT SHOULD OUR FIRST STUNT BE?"

Everybody sat there, staring at him awkwardly. By everybody, I mean everybody. Feferi raised her hand, waving it around.

"WHAT IS IT FEFERI?"

Putting her hand down, she took a deep breath before asking, "You didn't say we would be doing stunts."

Pinching the bridge of his nose and groaning, he said, "I'm saying it **now**, aren't I?"

"Well, it's just that.." She wrung her hands together nervously before continuing, "I don't think I'm up to doing stunts.."

This was when Eridan spoke up. "If Fef's not doing it, I'm not doing it!"

"OH LOOK EVERYONE. ERIDAN AND FEFERI DON'T WANT TO DO IT, THE WHOLE PLAN REVOLVED AROUND THAT. YOU GUYS CAN JUST GO HOME IF YOU'RE NOT UP FOR IT."

"Really? Great! Thanks Karkat!"

And just like that, two of them were out the door.

"Can I go home too?" Kanaya said in a wary tone, getting to her feet. Karkat couldn't believe this, didn't they understand that he'd be famous and they would be too for helping him right now? Oh whatever.

"FINE. SUIT YOURSELF." At that, Kanaya exited the building immediately.

"ANYBODY ELSE WANNA PUSSY OUT?"

There was a moment of silence.

Nepeta: No, I think I'll stay!

Equius: No you won't. We're leaving.

After about five minutes of those two arguing, Nepeta reluctantly left with Equius.

Aradia: It sounds like it will be fun.

Tavros: I'll stay.

Vriska: On the off chance that this does make you famous, I'll stick around.

Sollux: I jutht want to thee you guyth act thtupid.

Terezi: YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS I'M STAYING, KARKLES! HEHEHE.

Gamzee: Considering this is my house-

"ALRIGHT THEN. WHAT SHOULD OUR FIRST STUNT BE?"

The group sat in a moment of thought.

Aradia raised her hand.

"YES MEGIDO?"

"How about we get Terezi to drive us around the city?"

"I SEE, I SEE, BECAUSE SHE'S BLIND. YES, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. TEREZI?"

"GO SLEDDING WITHOUT A SLED!"

"IT'S JUNE THOUGH."

"EXACTLY."

"AH. I SEE. OKAY, VRISKA?"

"I say we go streaking around the city."

"...I'M NOT SURE ABO- OH WHAT THE HELL, OKAY. ANYTHING ELSE?"

"I've got one. A suggestion, I mean."

"WHAT IS IT TAVROS?"

"Staple a dollar bill to someone's bare ass."

"...WE ARE SO DOING THAT. SOLLUX?"

"Jump off the roof into the kiddie pool?"

"SOUND PAINFUL. LET'S DO IT. GAMZEE?"

"Hot glue your bulge to a table."

Everyone turned to stare at Gamzee. For a long time.

"OKAY. THAT'S A LITTLE TOO FAR. BUT WE SHOULD GET ON WITH THE PROGRAM."

"RIGHT. SO WHO'S CAR AM I WRECKING?"

-&-

"I can't believe we're taking my mom's car."

The seven kids, along with the camera crew were all squeezed into Tavros's mom's mini van. Terezi was at the steering wheel of course, with one of the camera men in the passengers seat. Vriska and Tavros sat in the middle section with two more from the camera crew and Gamzee, Karkat, Sollux and Aradia were squished together all the way in the back with the remaining members of the camera crew.

"Tavros, we drew straws and you lost. Suck it up," Vriska said, flicking his forehead. He merely hung his head in shame.

"ALRIGHT TEREZI-"

"Dude, your hurting my earth."

"Alright Terezi," Karkat lowered his voice for the sake of Sollux's ears and leaned forward in his seat, "You know what to do."

Terezi nodded, facing the driver side window. "Hi, my name is Terezi Pyrope-"

"You're facing the wrong way."

"Oh," Terezi turned to face the camera man, looking at him but not seeing him, "My name is Terezi Pyrope. And this is-"

"Terezi, you have to tell them you're blind."

"Why do I have to do that?"

"Because then they won't get how this is a stunt."

"Oh...Oh yeah. Hi, my name is Terezi Pyrope, I'm blind and this is Jackass."

Having said that, Terezi pulled the car into drive with the assistance of the camera man in the front seat and- crashed into Tavros's living room,

"Oh hi m-"

through his kitchen, through his back yard and somehow they ended up crashing into a McDonald's.

"SHIT EVERYBODY RUN."

The uninjured party- Karkat, Vriska, Aradia, Sollux, Gamzee and four different members of the camera crew followed instructions, sprinting away from the scene which is very illegal and please don't think it's okay to do that because this is a fanfiction, shit.

ANYWAY.

Terezi had probably broken an arm or something and Tavros.

Well, Tavros was going to need a wheelchair.

For maybe a few weeks, months...forever.

"OKAY, SO MAYBE THAT WASN'T THE BEST IDEA BUT THE SLED THING SHOULD WORK OUT GOOD."

The remaining kids were standing on top of a steep hill, holding a chair.

Gesturing towards the stand-in sled, Karkat cleared his throat nervously, beginning to regret this decision once he realized how painful this would be.

"OKAY, SO WHO'S FIRST?"

Everyone went quiet, staring before somebody spoke up. That somebody being Aradia.

"I'll do it. In honor of Terezi."

"PERFECT."

Aradia sat herself down on the chair, gripping the edges tightly.

"So, um, how exactly does this wo-"

"EVERYONE PUSH HER NOW!"

"WHOA WAIT WHAT-"

And then they all shoved Aradia down to her death.

Okay, maybe not her death.

But still, she was like seriously hurt gaiz.

"NUDE UP EVERYBODY"

"We're going to get arrested, I just know it."

"Shut up, Vriska, this was your idea."

"I can't believe we killed AA.."

"It's okay motherfucker, I think someone called the ambulance."

"That doethen't help at all."

"I SAID NUDE UP."

And they did so.

And then they got arrested and totally went to jail.

"I hate you, KK."

"I knew it. I fucking knew it."

"Hahaha we're handcuffed to a bench!"

"...I DON'T THINK I WANT TO BE A JACKASS ANYMORE. I'LL FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO BE FAMOUS FOR."

"NO! NO MORE TRYING TO BE FAMOUTH, LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED TODAY."

"YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME."

"KK, YOU GOT THREE OF TERRIBLY INJURED AND THE REST OF US ARRESTED."

"IT'LL BE BETTER NEXT TIME."

"THERE WILL BE NO THUCH NEXT TIME."

But Sollux was horribly, horribly wrong.

There was going to be a next time.


End file.
